Blog 2: Tis the season...

Welcome to my blog page! As the photo suggests, grab a cup of coffee (or tea or whatever choice beverage you prefer) and join me in my little online home as I write and ruminate on various subjects, whether pertaining to personal reflections or something unrelated to myself.

A quick update: For those of you who do not know, Collided BOOK TWO is now out for pre-order! (EEEEEEK!!!!) I’m so excited to release it. I cried so many times while I was writing it, so I hope you all find it as heartwarming and heartbreaking as I did. It’s a real treat, but I must warn you to grab your seatbelt and strap yourself in—you're going to need it.

Anyway, with all the different holidays celebrated across the world during the month of December, I wanted to write a short reflection on what I will call “the holiday season.”

If there is one word I would use to describe the month of December, it would be anticipation.

I think most people are, at some level, experiencing anticipation: anticipation for celebrating holidays, anticipation for seeing family and friends, anticipation for traveling, anticipation for the new year.

With this season of anticipation comes an array of different feelings. For many, December is a month for anticipating celebration and tradition. Presents, homemade goodies, and friendly greetings are shared. Family and friends who aren't routinely together gather for celebration. Nights that were filled with perhaps more monotonous activities are filled with festive enjoyment, such as games, seasonal foods, festivals, and seasonal shows. But of course, added to the festivities, we anticipate the few family members and/or friends who ask the last questions we want to be asked or discuss certain topics that might be better left undiscussed, so we do our best to smile, chuckle to ourselves, and steer the conversation somewhere else (yes... you know who you are... hehe...)

Yet, for many others, December is a difficult month, and one anticipates the sadness and loneliness that accompanies it. The hustle and bustle of the holiday season can be a reminder of those who aren’t there to celebrate the holidays with us. Whether that includes a loved one who passed away recently or many years ago, a loved one who is estranged, or a loved one who is away because of an occupational or familial obligation, December becomes a time marked by mental challenges. And for some too, the sheer pressure of running errands, making preparations, entertaining, meeting with people, and fulfilling all other social obligations is so crushing that we wonder if it is even worth it at all.

I don’t know about you, but I like to take concepts a step further and think, unpack, and make sense of them. So, when grappling with the idea of anticipation, I wondered so what? What can I take away from this?

No matter which form of anticipation you identify with, anticipation can arguably be broken down into two subcategories: waiting and expectation. There are pitfalls and blessings in both. Let’s take a look together.

Waiting can be a challenge and pitfall because of its very essence: waiting. As Dr. Seuss so eloquently said:

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.1

While this quote is from a children’s book, it speaks so honestly to the pitfall of waiting, or as Dr. Seuss says, “The Waiting Place.”2 The Waiting Place is a fixation on the things to come, whether that be a goal, person, or object, and because one is fixated, one is strapped with tunnel vision and misses what is occurring in the present—which, arguably, might actually be a blessing for some, but becomes a pitfall again if you never leave “The Waiting Place.” But waiting, if not resulting in stuckness, is essential to life. Waiting allows for the preparation of our minds and hearts, and when we are prepared, we are equipped, organized, and ready for what is to come.

Moreover, expectation is the counterpart to waiting. The pitfall of expectation can be found in either creating expectations that set us up for failure or not having expectations at all—both are unhelpful narratives. However, expectations, if done well, are wonderful and are sustenance to our hearts and minds too. They point us in the direction we want to go and clarify our values, goals, and passions. Expectations fill us with hope for what will be in the future.

I cannot speak for you, but I will speak for myself that I’m still learning to accept anticipation this holiday season—in all its beauty and ugliness.

Thus, during the month of December, I think the biggest gift we can give to ourselves and to others is grace. We can give ourselves grace because we know where we’ve been and how hard we worked to get here, and we can give grace to others because, while we may not know their story, we know that even one kind word can go a long way. (Bleh, I hope this isn’t too clichéd, but you get the idea.)

I hope you all have a safe and enjoyable holiday season. For those who are struggling, especially during the holidays, my hope is that you’ll find a little surprise care package of hope and happiness waiting for you at your doorstep. For those who are exhausted, the new year is almost here! We can make it!

Until next time!

With love,

Mariah

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1Dr Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (London: HarperCollins Children’s Books, 2016), 26

2ibid, 24

12/13/2024

Photo Credit: Adobe Firefly

Blog 1: This is the beginning... We finally made it!

Welcome to my first blog! As the photo suggests, grab a cup of coffee (or tea or whatever choice beverage you prefer) and join me in my little online home as I write and ruminate on various subjects, whether pertaining to personal reflections or something unrelated to myself.

I have been procrastinating writing this first blog. I was hoping to post one shortly after my first book was released to share my thoughts and feelings in real time, but life happens, especially when you are a busy mom of three, right? However, I’m glad I waited since this blog post will offer a bit more perspective regarding how the past month has gone.

I thought that after publishing a book, the hard part was completed, and I could finally put my feet up and focus on writing my next book, having successfully conquered the dubious task of writing an entire novel and navigating the scary world of copyright, licenses, establishing an LLC, etc.. (which isn’t actually so terrible.)

Anyway, I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Becoming publication ready is only the first step, and once the book is released, I learned there was yet another learning curve: marketing. As someone who has NO social media accounts nor has the desire to have one, I realized that, oh my gosh, I need social media accounts, and I need to learn how to use them. (Yes, feel free to laugh at me). I also tried to sign up as a Goodreads author, and I was informed that I needed my own official author website to sign up. So, after my book was published, my husband began creating this lovely online home for me while I reluctantly signed up for an Instagram account.

While those events were occurring, I watched helplessly as my book disappeared and got lost at sea—the sales rank dropping hourly and soon into the millions because I wasn’t selling a single book. Advertising and running a free book promotion helped, but it wasn't enough to keep my book afloat. I felt so much anxiousness and disappointment, thinking how I had spent years writing Collided only to have no one read it. I worked my backside off tirelessly and for what? What a waste, I thought.

Or was it...

Through the roller-coaster of emotions and finding quiet moments to reflect and think, the questions that prodded my brain the most were What kind of writer do I want to present myself as? What do I want to take away from this experience?

Pondering these questions clarified for me what is most important and articulated my values and vision. When I first began the journey of self-publishing and had family and friends read the manuscript (including my mother AND mother-in-law... I have no shame... PS thank you again my sweet mother and dearest mother-in-law for putting up with me and reading it 😊), I was overwhelmed with gratitude that they enjoyed reading my book and were willing to share their time with me. Thus, I realized that anyone else who read it beyond them were a bonus blessing, so no matter what happened after I clicked the publish button, my time wasn’t wasted because my family and friends enjoyed reading it. In addition, I also LOVE to write. I love nothing more than to express myself over a written medium, whether through books or through my schoolwork. So, any time I am able to write, I am simply enjoying life, having fun, doing what I love to do, and reaping the intrinsic reward of my favorite activity. I couldn't ask for more.

Moreover, with every bonus blessing I receive when someone new reads my book, I am repeatedly overcome with gratitude. Life is busy—oh so very busy, especially this time of year. Time is our most scarce resource, so it means more than they will ever know that they chose to read my book and share their morning or afternoon or evening with me as we journey together through life with Ariel and “Derek,” enjoying their bumpy ride and the smiles, scuffs, and tears shed along the way. And most of all, if even just one of these bonus blessing people are touched by one of my books, then it is more than worth it for me to have written them.

That aside, this experience has been another personal reminder that building anything of lasting value takes time to build. Nothing happens overnight or instantaneously. Reputations are earned gradually and established over time, so the moment I become more concerned with sales is the moment I must step away. I want to be remembered as a writer who wrote from the heart and channeled the raw authenticity of the human experience within her works, striving for characters that are relatable, approachable, and imperfectly (read: perfectly) human.

So in all, no matter what happens, I am already fulfilled and blessed. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to publish to Amazon and that I can write these little blogs for whoever cares to read them.

Life is so good, embracing each day and the learning that happens along the way.

Thank you for reading and thank you to my handsome husband for creating this fun little space to blog.

Until next time!

With love,

Mariah

MARIAH KUSS

Blog 2: Tis the season...

Blog 1: This is the beginning... We finally made it!